"Never Let Go"

**I'm going on a retreat this weekend with a mentoring group i'm in. Each member will be sharing their testimony. I typed mine up and thought I would share with my blog readers.**

“Never Let Go”

I’ve never had to share my testimony officially before. And as I was putting this together it was definitely very emotional for me. I looked up “testimony” in the dictionary just to see the definition. A testimony is a form of evidence that is obtained from a witness who makes a solemn statement or declaration of fact. So I am here to give my declaration of faith/fact today.

My story starts from the beginning of life. I was born a daughter to a Baptist mother and a Jewish father. For the first 5 yrs of my life, I was raised as Jewish. I even went to a Jewish preschool. My parents we divorced when I was 5, my brother was 6 months old. I don’t remember much about this. I only remember my father being there and then one day not being there anymore. My mom always made excuses for why he wasn’t around. Life just seemed to go on. There was no God in our family.

At 10 yrs old, my best friend takes me to church and for the next 5 years we attending Roswell St Baptist. I accepted Christ at 12 at a middle school summer camp. I’m not sure really why I accepted the Lord. I think I felt that it was the next step for me. I was feeling empty inside and thought if I accept Him my heart would be full magically. That wasn’t the case. It was if I was just checking things off a list. It wasn’t sincere.

The next step for me was high school. My mom remarried and so did my father. I got busy with school, moving from group to group. I desperately wanted to belong somewhere. I tried everything. I had close friends, was always busy, and definitely fell to peer pressure. At 16 years old, my best friend committed suicide. It was at that funeral where I decided to give up on God. He never gave up on me and continued to pursue me everyday. I was so hurt and broken. I felt my life was a complete disaster. No man would ever love me or stay with me. Because everyone that was important to me, left me. So, 2 yrs later I graduated high school and decided to do life on my own.

I moved out, decided college wasn’t for me, and started working a full time job in Atlanta. It went ok for 6 months. My biological father even came back into my life and I decided to move in with him. After 30 days of living in his house, things started to get bad. I had pushed my mom and step-dad away, I fought continuously with my father and step-mom, and hated my job. Then one night at 1:00am, my father kicks me out of his house. I had nowhere to go that night. I actually ended up sleeping in my car. I prayed for the first time in a long time, “God if you are real, please help me.”

It was time to start over. I made things right with my mom and step-dad. I signed up to go to college. Reinhardt is where things really began to change for me. God was real, He proved it to me everyday. My step-dad eventually became “Dad” to me. He even adopted me at age 19. I joined a group of people that went to 7/22 every week. The God I found there was amazing. He was fun, loving, trustworthy, and the one man that was a rock to me.  My relationship with Jesus isn’t perfect. My flesh still tries to take over sometimes. But I start every morning asking God to be with me all day. At Reinhardt, I also found my soul mate. It was a rough ride but I know God brought this man to me and through trusting the Lord I found that this man would also never leave me. Being a Christian is tough; I know I fight myself everyday. But knowing that God has a distinct plan for my whole life makes my decisions a lot easier. I just trust in Him and give it all to Him. If I didn’t have Christ as my solid rock I would be nothing. He pursued from the beginning and never left me. And I’m so thankful for Him for what he’s done in my life.